And then He died

I love it when God takes one of those “well, of course!” moments and turns it into something amazing when the light of understanding clicks on! And He did it again for me!

Last Friday we had our Good Friday Service at church. I know for some people this is such a depressing service, regardless of what the meaning behind it is. For me ~ I look forward to the quiet and even the heaviness that comes in my heart as I slow down and reflect on what Jesus did for me on the cross.

All my life God has used music to set me up to be ready to hear the message – and this service was no exception. From the very first song that the ensemble sang, I was hooked! These are the words that started the evening for me; “I come to the cross seeking mercy and grace…” As I sat at the piano accompanying the group, I was whispering “Yes, Lord – I am coming to the cross because I desperately need mercy and grace!”

Then the piano solo I played had these words ringing in my head: “What Thou, my Lord has suffered was all for sinner’s gain…mine, mine was the transgression but Thine the deadly pain…”

Of course, one of my newest favorites, Power of the Cross, always brings me to tears with the staggering truth of what my salvation cost: “Christ became sin for us – took the blame, bore the wrath…”

These songs and reading the account from the book of John took me through the arrest, trial, sentencing, and then crucifixion of Jesus. And this is what hit me – Jesus died. I mean, He really died. I’ve always understood that – but this time it hit deeper than ever before.

I haven’t had a lot of family members or close friends die but probably the one that has affected me the most was my grandmother. I was very close to my grandmother and as I stood at her casket after the funeral service I had a hard time walking away even though I knew she wasn’t there. I was confident that the Bible’s statement “to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord” is true.

What made it hard to turn away was the realization that she truly was dead – that I would never again be able to talk with her or for her to see her great grandchildren grow up or just to let her know I loved her. She was gone.

That is the exact feeling I sensed last Friday as I thought about the disciples and followers of Jesus. The One they had lived with for 3 years , the One they loved – their friend was dead. His death meant they would never again talk with Him or see His smile or hear his laughter or watch Him heal the sick or hear Him teach or walk by His side. He was gone.

Over 2,000 years later in a Good Friday service in Lafayette, Indiana, I was struck by the enormity of that sense of loss. What a depressing and hopeless moment to end a church service on – and yet, that is exactly what we did. I sat in that dark and quiet auditorium for quite a while after the service was concluded. I didn’t allow myself to think to Sunday’s celebration. I stayed on the reality of Jesus’ death and, for those few moments, wept along with the disciples at the loss of a friend.