Milestones

            The month of May is a huge wrap up month for our family. It is the end of the school year – which means the conclusion of school, Awana, women’s Bible study, choir, piano lessons and the start of summer. This year I feel like we have reached several milestones - all of which signals some pretty major changes coming up!

             Our youngest child, Kimberly, passed her drivers’ test (on the very first try and with flying colors!!) and is enjoying driving herself to work and to the store if I need something. When she comes home tomorrow after school, she will be a senior. Wow.

            Our third child, Carissa, is in the middle of looking at some school options and is trying to discern the best path to pursue. She can hardly wait to finish and get into her own classroom to teach.

            Our second child, Ashleigh, will be wrapping up her internship in July and is busy looking for jobs in her field of work. Graduate school is another thing she is considering.

            Our oldest child, Andrew, is wrapping up his employment and will be sorting what he wants to box to move, to put into storage, or to pitch as he gets ready to move to Louisville to attend seminary.

            If I’m not careful, it can put me in a very pensive mood and long for the good ole’ days when the kids were out in the yard playing or enjoyed the newest Disney movie. But I really wouldn’t want to be back there, either. They were wonderful times and I treasure each of those memories. But I am really glad to be where we are right now.

            It is both humbling and exciting to watch each of our grown up kids stretch their wings as they move into life. I love to hear them talk about what God is teaching them and how they own their faith – not just that they are going through life on what we have taught them but that they have come to beliefs through careful study on their own.

            It is gratifying to hear them talk about how their trust is being stretched as they wrap up one season of life and get ready for the next one with all the changes it will bring.

            And yes, it is nice to know we are still needed every so often for a piece of advice or a favorite home-cooked meal or the use of our van to help move their belongings.

            Yes these milestones are pretty big ones, but it is, after all, how God designed life to flow. I think what makes me smile the most, though, is this statement from 3 John – verse 4: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in truth.”

A Musical Reminder

        I’ve had several people ask if I’ve been on hiatus with my blog the past couple of weeks. No – not a hiatus… just sometimes life takes over and the things you really want to do must be set aside for a little bit.

        Last night as I was getting ready to head for my pillow and some much needed sleep, Carissa asked me if she could play me a song she found on YouTube. It happens to be one of my favorite hymns, “Be Still My Soul”, and I’ve probably already shared the words on one of my blogs.

        As I was sitting on the couch with my daughter, who is becoming this incredible woman, I was touched that this same piece of music that has calmed my aching heart so many times is ministering to her as well.

        We just sat there – and I think there were a few tears on both our cheeks as we listened to the beautiful blend of male voices singing a cappella the words:

“…leave to Thy God to order and provide;

in every change He faithful will remain…”

        Not “putting our oar in”, to quote from my favorite book, Anne of Green Gables, is a hard thing for us humans! We want to manage every little thing so that we can know we are going to be ok. To step back and take our hands off so that God can do His thing can feel like an overwhelming decision. But I know when I do – the outcome is always much better than what I can come up with on my own!!

        And then there is that blessed truth – He is faithful! No matter what changes in life, HE is faithful! And when I keep my mind focused on that promise, my soul is at peace.

        So thank you, Carissa – for sharing that beautiful music with me last night and for the reminder of God’s faithfulness.

Jesus' example of balance

We’ve just come through the Passover, Palm Sunday, and Easter season and have been reminded why Jesus came to earth. I’ve been reading the accounts of these events and find it very interesting that the last week of Jesus’ life through His ascension makes up at least 1/3 of each of the Gospels. For the book of John, it is almost half of the book.

As I was reading in Luke, something caught my eye that I never noticed before. It says in chapter 21 that Jesus spent each day teaching in the Temple and each night on the Mount of Olives. Even in the busiest and most important week of His life, Jesus still found a balance between ministering to people and having quiet time.

I could be very bold here and say I believe most pastors (and those in full time ministry) struggle to find that balance. But that might be stepping on toes. (smile)

Maybe it would be more accurate to say this is an issue for us all to study and apply. If a person is heavy on ministry and little on quiet time, then they are just as out of balance as a person who is heavy on quiet time and minimal on ministering.

One thing I have learned through the years is that the amount of both ministry and quiet time vary due to seasons in our lives. A mom with a newborn is going to be swamped with caring for her child and will wish for more quiet time, let alone the time to be active in ministry. On the other hand, someone who has just retired may find themselves with more quiet time than ever before and realize they can up their involvement at church.

Not sure where you find yourself, but I’m in the middle – I’m not at the freshman stage of learning but I haven’t reached graduation day yet… I don’t have small children who need my every waking moments but I’m not quite an empty-nester… I’m not a young 20-something year old will all kinds of zeal and energy but I’m not ready to sit in the rocking chair on the porch. I’m in the middle. And that’s ok. I’m finding it easier to say that out loud and also that I’m working on finding the balance that is appropriate for where I am in life. Balance… I’m working on it!

And then He died

I love it when God takes one of those “well, of course!” moments and turns it into something amazing when the light of understanding clicks on! And He did it again for me!

Last Friday we had our Good Friday Service at church. I know for some people this is such a depressing service, regardless of what the meaning behind it is. For me ~ I look forward to the quiet and even the heaviness that comes in my heart as I slow down and reflect on what Jesus did for me on the cross.

All my life God has used music to set me up to be ready to hear the message – and this service was no exception. From the very first song that the ensemble sang, I was hooked! These are the words that started the evening for me; “I come to the cross seeking mercy and grace…” As I sat at the piano accompanying the group, I was whispering “Yes, Lord – I am coming to the cross because I desperately need mercy and grace!”

Then the piano solo I played had these words ringing in my head: “What Thou, my Lord has suffered was all for sinner’s gain…mine, mine was the transgression but Thine the deadly pain…”

Of course, one of my newest favorites, Power of the Cross, always brings me to tears with the staggering truth of what my salvation cost: “Christ became sin for us – took the blame, bore the wrath…”

These songs and reading the account from the book of John took me through the arrest, trial, sentencing, and then crucifixion of Jesus. And this is what hit me – Jesus died. I mean, He really died. I’ve always understood that – but this time it hit deeper than ever before.

I haven’t had a lot of family members or close friends die but probably the one that has affected me the most was my grandmother. I was very close to my grandmother and as I stood at her casket after the funeral service I had a hard time walking away even though I knew she wasn’t there. I was confident that the Bible’s statement “to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord” is true.

What made it hard to turn away was the realization that she truly was dead – that I would never again be able to talk with her or for her to see her great grandchildren grow up or just to let her know I loved her. She was gone.

That is the exact feeling I sensed last Friday as I thought about the disciples and followers of Jesus. The One they had lived with for 3 years , the One they loved – their friend was dead. His death meant they would never again talk with Him or see His smile or hear his laughter or watch Him heal the sick or hear Him teach or walk by His side. He was gone.

Over 2,000 years later in a Good Friday service in Lafayette, Indiana, I was struck by the enormity of that sense of loss. What a depressing and hopeless moment to end a church service on – and yet, that is exactly what we did. I sat in that dark and quiet auditorium for quite a while after the service was concluded. I didn’t allow myself to think to Sunday’s celebration. I stayed on the reality of Jesus’ death and, for those few moments, wept along with the disciples at the loss of a friend.

at the end... yet just the beginning

This past Sunday I was reminded of a phrase from the song He Giveth More Grace ~ “when we reach the end of our hoarded resources…”

I would have to say that would sum up where I am currently – at the end of my hoarded resources. In this case, that would mean endurance, stamina, and focus. I have been sick on and off (mostly on) for the past 3 weeks. To say I have hit a wave of discouragement is putting it lightly. About the time I thought the medicine was doing its’ thing, I’d start running a fever again and back into bed I’d climb.

Yes, this is a time when it can definitely feel like you have come to the end. But I’m glad that’s not the end of the song - for the truth of the next phrase is what keeps a person going when they would like to give up. It is definitely an encouragement to me!

“…the Father’s full giving is only begun.”

Oh what an awesome thought! When I have nothing left in me – and I admit I can do nothing more – God, my loving Heavenly Father, just begins His giving of grace. Wow!

I have no idea who, as they are reading this, might be right there – at the end of your resources. That might mean financially or emotionally or spiritually. But I pray that the words of this song will encourage your heart today like they have mine!

“His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,

His power has no boundary known unto men;

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus

He giveth ~ and giveth ~ and giveth again.”