Do you want to...

I love how you could have read a certain passage in Scripture a bazillion times and then read it one more time and get something totally new from it. This morning I read the account in John 5 of Jesus healing the lame man at the Pool of Bethesda. I've always thought the man just couldn't "catch a break" to get to the water first.

Jesus asked the man "do you want to get well?" - which I have always thought was a rather bizarre question to ask someone who was an invalid. Wouldn't you think the answer would have been a quick and firm yes? But interestingly, the lame man gave his reasons why he hadn't been healed (I have no one to help me... someone always gets there first...) This man's problem had become a way of life. I also find it interesting that there is no record of the man thanking Jesus for healing him, The Bible just says he was cured, picked up his mat, and walked - and by the way it was the Sabbath.

So as he is walking away - a rather miraculous thing after 38 years of being an invalid - he gets questioned by the Jews why he is breaking the law by carrying his mat. Once again the man had his reason - "the man who made me well told me to." When asked who healed him, the man had no idea who it was.

So the question hits me - are these valid reasons or excuses? And, to get just a wee bit personal, how often to do I give reasons when, truthfully, they are just excuses.

I can almost hear Jesus responding to some of my prayer requests
"Jesus, help me be kind"
"Val, do you want to be kind?"
"Well, of course I do, but it is hard to be kind to so and so..."

"Jesus, help me be more teachable."
"Val, do you really want to be more teachable?"
"Well, of course I do, but... we'll have to work on that later because I have a full day (week, month, year) ahead of me..."

"Jesus, help me love you more."
"Val, do you want to love Me more?"
"Of course I want to love you more..." (and then by my actions no one would know I am His child or that I love my Savior.)

"Jesus, please help me gain victory over this specific sin."
"Val, do you want to get the victory over this sin?"
"Well, of course I want to get the victory over this sin..." (but then take no steps to avoid the temptation and commit the sin over again.)

Because sometimes it is hard to have the want to want to do the right, obedient thing, I've asked God to help me get to that first step. He probably just smiles gently at this sinful, willful child and asks if I really want to want it.

So, that's the question - do you want to? I'm going to have to spend time on that one...